Kalmia Blossom
by Lady Black Mage
Summary: Something in Yugo cannot help but feel lingering guilt and doubt over imprisoning Qilby in the White Dimension. So when he recovers a dofus and uses it to visit the Eliatrope children, his conscience leads him to find Qilby in the White Dimension. Didn't Qilby say nobody ever tried to understand him and what he was going through, that nobody cared? What if someone finally did?
1. Prelude

**A/N: Yes that's right, it's disclaimer time. Wakfu and all related elements therein belong to Ankama. This story is basically my brainchild, as I wanted to really expand a bit more on Qilby's character history, particularly since there are six very notable pages in volume one of the Wakfu manga where Yugo is agonizing over his choice to re-imprison Qilby in the White Dimension, bordering on regret. Those pages sort of helped to spur this idea, so there you have it. There's going to be a lot of headcanon ideas involved.**

* * *

Honestly I don't even know what I was expecting or hoping for. That things would change? That maybe this time it would go differently? That perhaps for once, for the first time in my many lifetimes, I would finally be heard? That the logic and wisdom behind my choices and my actions would be acknowledged and accepted?

It was a fool's errand, and perhaps it always had been.

Thinking on it, perhaps I had been wrong to confront Adamaï without Yugo present. I had worried Yugo's sense of justice would have gotten in my way, but perhaps instead I wove my own ruin by underestimating how suspicious Adamaï was growing. Honestly, I should have anticipated that from the start. Adamaï has never been one to trust as easily as Yugo.

My stomach twists uncomfortably in my anger. There is no cold or heat in the White Dimension, but I feel an old burning deep in every fiber of my being. I curl in on myself tightly, my nails digging into the skin of my arms so violently I can feel it break and the blood begin to well up.

Except it doesn't. I don't have a left arm. Not anymore.

Beads of sweat burst out of my pores as my heart rate elevates, and I have to take several deep, uneasy breaths before I calm down. It has been some time since the last intrusive memory attack; it has been longer still since I had one that also brought with it phantom pain. Where did that memory come from? This incarnation, prior to that bastard Phaeris taking my arm? The life previous? Four lives ago, perhaps? I curl my remaining arm around my knees and stare resolutely into the white. It hardly matters. After Shinonome's words cut me so deep, little matters.

Of course, I don't blame my sister or hold that against her. No, the whole thing, the entire ordeal, can place its origin of blame upon Yugo. Arrogant, pretentious Yugo and his unrelenting attachment to sentimental ideals, put into his head by youth's brightness. Yugo had opposed me years ago and he had opposed me yet again, this time poisoning my own beloved sister against me.

Betrayal was bitter. Perhaps this was how my people felt…?

 _Except they won't weigh in their own sins. They cry out betrayal and point the finger of accusation, yet none of them acknowledge their neglect of me. No… no, I am not to blame. If I am a monster, it is because they made me one. They cared not a whit for me, not as a person. They used me as a tool, over and over, and even then they never truly put to use my knowledge and my wisdom._

The thought gives me a modicum of comfort. I am not to blame. The fault rests with Yugo, whatever he may claim to the contrary.

A bitter laugh builds in my chest, somewhere in my breastbone, climbing higher until it claws its way out of my mouth and twists my lips. The little fool had urged me to change, to give up my aims. Arrogant child! He has no idea, cannot even begin to fathom how much our people could benefit from what I know, from what I could do for them. I do not want kingship; I never have. But a child-king needs a guide, and once that child begins to grow into his role, then he shall need an advisor to help him stay on the right path to lead our scarred nation.

 _He ruined his chance. He spat in my face at the very thought._

My breathing becomes shallow again.

Yugo lost his chance to learn from me. I extended my hand in an open offer of brotherhood and he struck it away. He hasn't changed. He expects me to, but he never tries to see anything from my perspective. Typical!

 _Why should I?_

My fingers lower, stroking the velvet-soft petals of the small, pink blossom that came with me into this wretched place for comfort. Why should I change? Because I'm inconvenient for them as I am? Phaeris hasn't changed. Grougaloragran hasn't, and neither has Adamaï. And Yugo… Yugo has changed least of all.

Nothing has changed. Nothing ever changes.

So why should I?


	2. Chapter 1: A Talk Between Brothers

1 - A Talk Between Brothers

* * *

Something was bubbling in Alibert's cooking cauldron, something with a rich, soothing aroma that was making Adamaï's mouth water. The young dragon was still growing accustomed to human dishes, but if there was anyone who could make any dish instantly appealing to his appetite, it was Alibert. The Enutrof was nothing short of a magician in a kitchen, and Adamaï's brother seemed to have inherited that gift, even if Yugo's cooking skills could still benefit from some more polishing up. Adamaï's stomach was building up a rather impressive growl when a cacophony of crashing pots and pans assaulted his sensitive ears. Seconds later it was accompanied by wailing sobs, and Adamaï let out a groan of weary exasperation.

"Not _again_!" he huffed, rushing to the kitchen. What he found there didn't shock him in the least. For all appearances, Grougaloragran the dragonet had gotten wound up once again and the end result was nearly all the unused cookingware being knocked to the floor, and Grougal along with it, swaying disorientedly with a small pot on his head. The one crying was none other than Grougal's snowy-haired Eliatrope twin, although Chibi didn't appear to have been hurt by his brother's wild mischief. It was just as Adamaï was reaching this conclusion that the two-year-old was gently scooped up by Alibert, who had dropped everything momentarily to check up on the youngest additions to his family.

"There there, it's alright, Chibi," he told the toddler soothingly. "You're fine."

Chibi's crying instantly started quieting down to uncertain whimpering, and Adamaï took the moment to fly over to Grougal, pulling the pot off the dragonet's head to prepare admonishing him.

"Grougal!" he snapped. "How many times do I have to tell you the kitchen isn't a place to play?! If you're gonna be rough, go outside so nobody gets hurt!"

The dragonet stopped swaying and shook himself a second before fixing Adamaï with a glare and letting out a small growl. Adamaï remained quiet but planted his fists on his hips and glared right back as sternly as he could. He _had_ to assert his authority—such as it was—or else Grougal would be absolutely impossible to deal with. Two years now the young dragon had been babysitting the little twins and yet there had been little to no change in his relationship with the younger dragon. Not to mention it wasn't easy, trying to help raise a dragonet that had once been the closest thing Adamaï had to a parent for twelve years. Thankfully Grougal decided to listen this time, as within moments the tension and air of aggression left his tiny body and he slumped into a sulky pout.

"That's much better." Alibert nodded his approval and turned a delighted smile upon Adamaï. "Well done, Adamaï. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without your help."

The young dragon gave a light shrug, though he couldn't entirely hide the color that crept into his cheeks at the praise. "I think you would manage well if you really had to. Plus, you'd probably still have Yugo."

Alibert paused for a moment in the act of setting Chibi back down, looking mildly puzzled and just a little worried. "Speaking of," he remarked, "where _is_ your brother? I don't think I've seen Yugo since breakfast."

"Hmm…" Adamaï frowned. "I'm not sure. He left a little while ago… hold on."

Closing his eyes, the young dragon stretched his awareness as he breathed in deeply, emptying all other distractions from his thoughts. Instantly his other sight kicked in, and Adamaï saw the blue-white life energy of those around him shining bright in a dark void. In the immediate vicinity were Alibert, Chibi, Grougal, and the customers and nearby neighbors. He frowned, not recognizing his brother's wakfu anywhere close by. He stretched the boundaries of his awareness further, faint shapes and flashes of blue-white rushing past in a blur as he sought out the Eliatrope that was the other part of himself. In the next breath, Adamaï found Yugo's wakfu stationary in the forest nearby.

"Ah, he's out in the forest," he reported, opening his eyes to look at his surrogate father. "I'll go get him if you want, Alibert. I don't know why he's all the way out there."

"Please do," the Enutrof replied, a frown of worry creasing his features. "I know he's had more moments where he's been withdrawn in the last two years but I don't think he's ever just gone off like this before. And I'm concerned; he's still recovering from that last battle. I would feel better if I knew where he was and if he had someone with him… just in case something happens."

"Not a problem! You can count on me, I'll bring him back," Adamaï said bracingly. He shape-shifted in the next second, switching to the squat, bowl-legged form he preferred for flying. His wings, now thin and iridescent, buzzed as he took to the air. "This shouldn't take too long."

Alibert offered him a grateful smile. "Thank you, Adamaï."

He returned the smile before flying out through the large kitchen window and into the bright, warm sunshine.

The day was beautiful and many of the villagers of Emelka were out enjoying the weather even as they went about their daily routines. A few called out on seeing Adamaï but he paid them no mind. Finding and talking with his twin was his priority. If anyone was seriously offended by him ignoring them, he would apologize for his rudeness later. He flew quickly but tried to avoid going so fast he might overshoot his destination. Out of habit, he called out for Yugo the deeper into the trees he flew. He didn't expect an answer, not an immediate one to say the least, but hopefully his voice would carry and reach his brother's ears.

 _And it may alert him enough he'll tell me what's going on with him._

It was a stray thought that flashed across his mind, but it was so heavily weighed down by his worry that other thoughts, darker thoughts, began to surface as well. As Alibert had said, after that battle nearly two full years past, Yugo had become more withdrawn and introspective. And Adamaï had a very good guess as to why that was. He called out his brother's name again as he finally came upon the spot where Yugo sat. The young, sandy-haired Eliatrope sat at the edge of a small hill, one leg dangling off the edge as he rested his hands on the opposite knee, which was pulled up to his chest as he stared out at nothing in contemplation.

"Yugo!" Adamaï said his name a third time to get his attention. Finally Yugo looked at him, his brown eyes somber for the briefest of moments. Unless you were one of the few who knew the truth, nobody looking at the fourteen-year-old boy would have guessed him to be the king of his people. But his dragon twin knew, and for a second he had a fleeting memory flit across his thoughts, of times in lives past when Yugo had looked so grave.

"What's wrong, Ad?" he asked, and the moment passed them by.

"Alibert asked me to come looking for you," he replied, shifting into his human-esque form as he sat down beside his twin. "He's worried about you. _I'm_ worried about you. I know you've gone off like this before and I want to respect your space, but…"

As he trailed off uncertainly, the two both glanced down at their knees, abruptly awkward.

"I know," Yugo said quietly, the ear-like points of his hat drooping with the movements of his hidden wakfu wings. "I'm sorry, brother. I've just… had a lot on my mind after the Crimson Claws Island. Even more so than usual, lately."

Adamaï bit the inside of his cheek to avoid making a face. He spent most of his time trying to _forget_ the battle at the Crimson Claws. It was without a doubt the worst thing the young dragon had ever experienced in his life since he and his twin's rebirth. The memory of being possessed by the parasitic shushu Anathar was one that cast a shadow on his mind and had haunted his nightmares for months following the Brotherhood of the Tofu's victory. Even now the pain and sensations from how his body had been twisted and violated and his powers forcibly used against his will echoed like phantasmal whispers that had burrowed into the very core of Adamaï's being. But he battled against the dark phantoms of his nightmares as he breathed in deeply, steadying himself. He was here to talk to his twin, to coax Yugo into confiding in him what was so troubling, before the two of them returned home to Alibert, Chibi, and Grougal. He had a guess as to what it was, and a very good one at that, but he hoped he was wrong.

"Yugo… is this about Qilby?"

His heart sank as he watched Yugo's chin sink down to meet his chest. The motion, coupled with his silence, was as much a "yes" to Adamaï as a nod would have been. He waited, but when Yugo continued to remain quiet, Adamaï knew he would have to prompt his brother to finally spill what was on his mind. "Why are you wasting your time thinking about him? It's done, it's all over. We don't have to worry. He'll never trouble us again, not since you put him back in the Blank Dimension."

"That's just it, Ad. I put him back there… and that's what is eating at me."

The dragon huffed. "That's _bothering_ you? You put him back in there for a reason. It was a matter of justice. And if you ask me it's far better than what that traitor deserves after everything he's done."

"But," Yugo interjected, "you weren't there to hear what he said. His accusations… the way he made it sound, it was like none of us were really there for him in any of our past lives. Like we only used him because he could remember everything we needed for the Eliatrope people to continue to thrive, but otherwise he was shunned or ignored because of that same difference. He claimed none of us even tried to understand him or show him compassion."

"Yugo! He was _lying_." Adamaï tried to put as much force behind his words as he could without getting too aggressive. Unfortunately, Yugo was already shaking his head.

"But Ad," he protested, looking at his twin with vulnerable, imploring eyes, "what if he _wasn't_? Why would he lie about something that hurts as deeply as that?"

"Does it _matter_?" Adamaï shot back irritably. "He's lied and spun the truth around about plenty of other things, and even so if he isn't lying about that, it doesn't change the fact that the things he did were wrong!"

"But doesn't that make it our fault, at least in part?" Yugo asked gloomily, turning back and staring out across the view of the forest again. "Because we never tried to care for him as he needed? We didn't try to help a problem, so doesn't that contribute to it?"

The dragon chewed his lower lip a second and breathed deeply, trying to keep calm. "You're trying to bargain with yourself, Yugo. You feel bad and now you're trying to justify shouldering some of the blame. It _isn't_ our fault. _We_ shouldn't take the blame for _Qilby's_ actions. He chose to do the things he did." He crossed his arms as he finished, waiting for his brother's rebuttal.

But the Eliatrope became quiet again, his face becoming pensive. After a long moment of silence, he let out a sigh and finally mumbled, "Maybe you're right."

Gradually Adamaï relaxed. He hated conflict with his brother but it happened far more frequently than either of them liked. Thankfully though, this time it appeared he'd gotten through to Yugo; that was a relief.

"You _know_ that I'm right," he said gently. "You shouldn't blame yourself for the actions of others."

The ears of Yugo's hat rose, a positive sight in spite of his somber expression. "Yeah… you're right." He looked at his brother again and smiled. "Thanks, Adamaï."

"Of course!" he exclaimed with a proud huff, planting his fists on his hips as he grinned. " _Someone's_ got to be here to keep you from being too serious and gloomy!"

"Serious? Gloomy?!" Yugo blurted out with a laugh. "Is that the pot calling the kettle black?"

"Speaking of pots and kettles…" The dragon ignored his brother's question as he folded his arms with a smug smirk. "The reason I came out here in the first place was because Alibert asked if I would look for you, remember? I'm going to bring you back home."

"I honestly didn't think I was gone _that_ long."

"Even if you hadn't been, he would have worried. You know he doesn't miss a thing."

"You've got a good point," Yugo admitted as he got to his feet and brushed himself off. "Guess we'd better get back there, huh?"

"We?" Adamaï's smirk became a grin again as he turned and darted into the trees, shouting over his shoulder, "Try to keep up, slowpoke!" He was rewarded when he heard his brother laugh, and felt the surging of energy as a zaap portal opened nearby.

It had been a long time since the two had first played this game on Oma Island, and after Yugo had excelled at training and the Brotherhood had faced the mad Xelor called Nox, there had been little use for their game of chase. But childish and pointless though it seemed, Adamaï found he didn't care. As Yugo gave chase, opening one zaap after another and gaining on his twin as the gap between them closed, Adamaï was happy to just play with his brother. It was good to see and hear Yugo laughing so freely. Perhaps something as simple as this would help to lighten the weight that the young Eliatrope bore on his shoulders and slowly bolster his spirit… and free his mind from Qilby's shadow for good.


End file.
